– Nan Fairbrother, The House in the Country
One major thing that traveling around the world with just a backpack for 8 months taught me was that I need a whole lot less stuff than I thought needed. I had absolutely everything I needed on a day to day basis, and it fit in a bag on my back. Another surprising thing was that I treasured these few possessions I had with me. I thought I’d be so sick of them by the end – looking at and wearing the same things over and over, but I found myself endlessly fond of them. I had a specific outfit I wore on travel days – for flights and train trips. I looked so appreciatively at that top and those pants whenever I put them out the night before – they were familiar and brought me comfort.
When I got home, I knew I wanted to take a close look at the stuff I owned and re-evaluate what stuff I need in my life.
I wanted to simplify my possessions for three main reasons:
- I want to continue to make travel a priority in my life, even after I go back to working full time. I want to save money for more amazing trips. I know that simplifying my possessions down to what I truly needed will make it much easier to stop buying unnecessary things and bringing them into my home.
- I live in a one bedroom apartment in NYC. When I live with my possessions fully filling every storage area in my apartment, it’s hard to keep it organized. Closets need to be cleaned out every 3-6 months. New possessions don’t have a place to go.
- I want to feel less tied down by my possessions. I felt like I owned too much – and it was a burden. I want the things I own to feel like the items I carried with me around the world felt – I want them to bring me joy and I want to appreciate them, not feel annoyed by them.
In the US, we live in a culture that is constantly bombarding us with the message “you need more stuff to be happy,” or “this _____ will make you happy.” It’s not just through advertising, it’s in the media we consume, the blogs we read, the shows we watch, and probably also from our friends and family. It’s ridiculous and sort of sad that we need help with getting ourselves out of this mindset and this lifestyle, but it’s the truth. A lot of us, myself included, need to work hard to change this culturally ingrained mindset of constantly wanting new stuff.
I always thought that I am decently good at getting rid of things. I have no remorse about donating things I no longer need. But I still had accumulated a lot of stuff. My apartment is always clean and tidy on the surface, but since it’s a small apartment in NYC there is limited storage and my closets and storage areas were bursting with stuff. It was impossible to get things out or put things away without moving other things around and cramming stuff together. I also had a lot of stuff that I wasn’t using but had a hard time getting rid of – mostly irreplaceable, sentimental things. I felt like I needed help getting to the next level of minimizing my possessions. Having just the right amount of stuff stopped me from buying things during my travels, and I knew it would help at home too.
Enter Marie Kondo and her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
I’ve seen this book everywhere lately – it was published last year and has been all over bookstore displays themed for New Year’s Resolutions and improvement. There are a ton of books about cleaning and organizing your home, but I think this one became so popular because her philosophy is so simple. She doesn’t have a million storage ideas for jamming things into your home in an organized fashion. She teaches you this: discard everything that doesn’t bring you joy first, then what’s left will be easy to store and organize.
“To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose. To get rid of what you no longer need is neither wasteful nor shameful. Can you truthfully say that you treasure something buried so deeply in a closet or drawer that you have forgotten its existence? If things had feelings, they would certainly not be happy. Free them from the prison to which you have relegated them. Help them leave that deserted isle to which you have exiled them. Let them go, with gratitude.”
The book is divided into two sections: how to decide what to keep or discard, and how to store the things you do keep. I found the first section most helpful for me, but got a lot of great tips from the storage section as well.
This book will help everyone in different ways, since we all struggle with letting go of different types of things, but here are some examples of ways I minimized my possessions thanks to Marie’s philosophy and guidance:
CLOTHING. I had way, way too much. A medium sized closet packed full, and a giant six drawer dresser filled to the brim. I dress very simply – I don’t like spending time worrying about what to wear, so I’ve build a wardrobe of basic, easy to care for things that I like. And yes, most of these things are black. My friends give me crap about not wearing more color, so over the years I’ve also bought pieces that are more colorful and stylish, to spice things up every now and then. I got rid of enormous piles of clothing, and most of it fit into two categories: basics I had too much of (when I find something I love I buy a ton of duplicates) and colorful, stylish things that didn’t end up working out – I didn’t feel comfortable in them, and I didn’t wear them. What remains: my basics, still in duplicate but now a much more reasonable number, and only the pieces that are in the best condition; and dressier and more colorful options, but only the ones I feel great in. My dresser drawers and closet now all have a lot of breathing room, and I’ve emptied an entire large drawer & closet space for Graham to use.
BOOKS. This entire project started with my book collection, and I ended up getting rid of over 250 books. Marie’s advice on keeping only what brings you joy was somewhat helpful here, but as Marie is not a book collector (as I write about later on in this post) I had to develop my own tactics. What ended up working the best for me was thinking about the number of books I’ll be able to read in my lifetime. Many of my books are unread, with new titles added to my list all the time. I also love to re-read, so I often revisit my favorites. I learned to look at a book with the perspective of “Would I want to read this book very soon, above all the other unread books?” Thinking about that made me admit that maybe a book would be interesting to me someday – if I had unlimited lives to read books, but that in reality it was unlikely to ever be read. Those books are now passed along so that other readers can enjoy them. I still have over 1300 books, but now they all fit comfortably on my shelves, with room for new books. I also made a recurring event on my calendar to quickly but thoroughly glance over every shelf once per month to continue weeding my collection regularly. I might not discard many books every month during this exercise, but I do think looking at and thinking about my entire collection once per month will also help me purchase fewer new books.
SENTIMENTAL THINGS. This was always a hard category for me, because these things are mostly irreplaceable. But Marie’s advice on keeping only what brings you joy and letting go of the past was extremely helpful in this category. I kept the things that still bring joy. Many other things I thanked for their memories and let go. If I felt I needed to, I took a photo of the object and uploaded it to a private Flickr album. The Flickr album brings me more joy that the actual object ever did, because I can see it more often! I was also sentimental about a lot of clothing items – things I wore at special occasions, or t-shirts from important events – clothing associated with great memories. Marie reminds us that getting rid of an object doesn’t get rid of the good memories. Sometimes I snapped a pic of a clothing item for the Flickr album, but more often than not I already have photos of me in each item, and I realized that’s enough.
OLD NOTEBOOKS AND PLANNERS. This was another hard category for me. I had, in a tub under my bed, 10 years worth of old planners and notebook logs from each year where I logged my books read and other stuff. They are not my journals – those I love and keep. They are just old records and logs of the past. My planners held notes of everything I’ve done for the past 10+ years, and often times I jotted down quotes or song lyrics that were on my mind during a particular week. I never, ever looked at them, but it seemed like throwing them away was throwing away part of myself. I decided to let them go. First, I flipped through them and took a couple of photos for my Sentimental Things Flickr album. I took photos of the planner pages from significant weeks of my life – starting at Buddy Media, moving to Brooklyn, etc., and a few from normal weeks. I love the photos and can now look at them in my Flickr album, and the tub of old paper I never looked at is gone.
RANDOM STUFF. I got rid of a lot of “random stuff.” Things that were just sitting around, not getting used. Most of it was just stuff I don’t need: I haven’t used it in the 4 years I’ve lived in this apartment, so I got rid of it. One great thing about this project though is now that all my remaining things fit in my apartment so much easier, I can move things around to where I might actually use them. Example: I had a brand new waffle maker and fondue pot sitting in their boxes on a high shelf in my living room closet. There was no room in my kitchen for them. I never used them because they were such a pain to get out and put back away. Now that my kitchen is free from unneeded things, there’s room for both these things right up handy in my cupboard. If I don’t use them now that they are so easy to access and use, I’ll get rid of them at some point, but at least now they have a fair chance at being useful. I’m already planning a waffle brunch for this weekend.
There were only a few of her philosophies that I found too extreme to implement. They work for her though, and I’m sure for other people as well. I just find them so absurd for me personally that it makes me giggle a bit, so I’ll share them:
- Taking everything out of your purse at the end of a day and putting the contents in their own storage spot. This might be a good idea for people who switch bags or purses from day to day, but I use the same bag for months or sometimes years, and I would find taking everything out and putting it away at night and then re-loading it the next morning endlessly annoying. Plus, I’d probably forget things, and find myself at the subway station without my Metro card.
- Along those same lines, she recommends taking all shampoos and soaps out of the shower after use, drying them off, and storing them outside the shower. The thought of doing this makes my body tense up with unnecessary stress. Also, my bathroom is absolutely tiny – there’s no room to store them outside the shower! Maybe someday I’ll have a big glorious bathroom and an entire shelf of the cupboard could hold an assortment of shampoos and body washes, and I could pick the scents I am in the mood for that day. But for now, they are staying in the shower.
- Most of all, Marie Kondo and I do not see eye to eye on book collecting. Despite claiming she likes to read, Marie says she only keeps about 30 books at a time in her collection, and she keeps them out of sight in a shoe cupboard. She is a reader, but not a book collector. The thought of only owning 30 books does NOT bring me joy. And storing my books anywhere but proudly out on shelves where I can bask in their wonderfulness is out of the question.
I didn’t keep exact count of the bags of stuff I discarded, but I’d estimate that I got rid of over 30 bags of things to donate, and 10 giant trash bags of things to toss. My home now feels lighter and more comfortable. I have the things I need, it’s easy to get things out and put them away, I cherish the things I own, and I’m extremely happy. And I’m not buying things I don’t need! I’m not completely done yet – there are a few small areas and collections I need to go through, but I’m about 80% of the way there. It feels incredible.
This book is short, attractive, and a fast read. I highly recommend it if either of the following are true for you:
- You want to clean and organize your home. You can definitely attempt it on your own, but if you’ve tried and failed before to keep things tidy, this book could help you get things in order once and for all and prevent a “relapse.” The key is a very thorough discarding of things you don’t need.
- You want to stop impulse buying things you don’t need. I believe the best way to stop spending money on impulse purchases is to take stock of what you own, realize you have everything you need, and take joy in each of the possessions in your home.
Affiliate links to buy this book: IndieBound | Amazon
Readers, if you’ve made it this far I’m assuming this topic is on your mind lately too. I’d love to continue the discussion with you in the comments! Please share your experiences tidying up and downsizing material possessions: wins and struggles alike, with or without Marie Kondo’s book as guidance.
I’ve been seeing this around quite a bit lately, too, and have heard vastly different things about it. I tend to be someone who purges once every few years, so I don’t have too much stuff piling up, but I can always use some tidying. The shampoo/shower thing makes me cringe, too! And I don’t think she’s going to win too many friends in the book community ;)
While I was reading it I knew that some people would love it, some wouldn’t find it helpful – it’s probably not a one size fits all book. As Max noted in his comment – I can picture it not really helping families with young kids. But then again – I’m not sure what book WOULD help – that’s a time when your home gets taken over in kid stuff! It also has a very Zen approach to objects – something I responded well to, but others might find it too much. It helped me take my minimization efforts to the next level though, and for that I am very grateful. I don’t know that I could have done it as well on my own.
Great post. It’s obvious to me from the reviews I’ve read that she’s single and without children, I don’t have children either, but I understand they just generate stuff.
Otherwise, when my wife and I moved a few years back we had a major clearout, as many do, and since then I’ve tried to address my habit of getting stuff. I do think it has to be right that the answer is having less and buying less, not clever storage solutions. Clever storage just clears space to put more stuff in, it doesn’t address the issue.
And yes, I do rather wonder if she loves books as much as she claims. Even if you don’t collect it doesn’t take long if you’re a serious reader to start accumulating titles.
What’s the point of the purse and shower thing? I empty my pockets into a bowl I keep for that purpose, but that’s because I change suits each day. If I used the same bag why would I empty it? And the shower thing just seems like make-work. Why take stuff out only to put it back in the same place each day? That bit seems a bit OCD.
Linda Grant’s I Murdered my Library is good on culling a book collection. There’s a review of that at mine if you don’t know it.
Anyway, interesting stuff. Well done with the eight months in a backpack, I can see why that would change your attitude.
She writes a little about how to apply her philosophy to kids, but it seems to be most applicable to older kids – once they can help tidy themselves. The amount of stuff that kids bring into the picture is shocking – not counting the things they actually need, other people just seem to buy gifts for babies and toddlers constantly! I’m sure some of it is much appreciated, but there just seems to be so much excess!
Her book philosophy is odd – I’m guessing she just loves reading more than the physical objects of books, I do know people like that (I’m not one of them). But – if those 30 books that she keeps are truly the ones that “bring her joy,” wouldn’t she enjoy having those books out on display somewhere, instead of keeping them in a shoe cupboard? I’ve never put anything that brings me joy in a shoe cupboard. I loved the Linda Grant piece, and your post about it.
Her idea behind the purse stuff removal is that your things need to “rest” – a bag needs a chance to rest to recover and last longer. Some bags this might be true for – if you hang it up and it’s full of stuff – it’s then heavy and will continue to stretch and deform. This is less true for my bag – it’s made of heavy duty leather, isn’t incredibly full, and sits on a bench instead of hanging. The idea about the shower is basically that it’s easier to clean the shower. That’s probably true, but the short amount of time I spend cleaning the shower is much less than the time and mental effort to constantly move the stuff back and forth. To me, that was the silliest suggestion in the book.
All in all though, as you say – the key really is getting your possessions down to the correct and reasonable amount, then the storage side is easy. That’s really what I liked about the book, the guidance she gives in how to get to the right amount of stuff, it really helped with my entire discarding process, and the sentimental things in particular.
And thank you! I’m hoping I can keep up this mindfulness about my possessions, that’s why starting right away was so important to me, I’m glad I had the time to do so.
Is there a chapter in there about what to do if all the surfaces in your dining room are covered with jade plants? Also, what about that closet full of Uglydolls?
I think she’d say that if the Uglydolls bring you joy (which I am guessing from your great posts about them over the years, they do), then keep them. If they ever stop bringing you joy, don’t feel bad about getting rid of some, or all. She would say “Thank them for the joy they brought you, and let them go.”
I’m not sure what she’d say about the jade plants. Are they joyful jade plants?
Yes, the jades are pretty joyful. Maybe I’ll hold a free plant giveaway in my driveway come spring. I could write up little How to Care for a Jade instructions and give them to the people who walk by. I could add an Uglydoll if there are any kids with them.
I really like that idea. Keep a few of the jades for yourself, and let the others bring joy to other people. I like it when the things I’m getting rid of can go to good homes. I found a high school teacher in the Bronx via The Listserve emails who needs books for her classroom, so about 30 of my books are going there – the ones that HS age kids would be interested in. Really happy to send them to a good home.
I’ve been working on paring down for a few years, I’m on the slow and steady approach :) I have found that not accumulating things is easier than spending the time and energy to get rid of the things I don’t want/need any longer so I think twice before buying something. When it comes to books my husband and I have drastically cut back the number we buy so that I think last year between the two of us we acquired fewer than 25 books. We have begun using the library a lot. At first I thought I would find this really hard but it has turned out to be easier than I expected. We’ve not begun getting rid of books yet, but that will be something we do soon.
I did a whirlwind of purging things, and now I think the rest will be on the slow and steady approach too. I have been using the library more as well – they are such a treasure! Not only does it stop me from buying a lot of things I don’t really need to own, but going and picking out a bunch of things to take home satisfies my “shopping” urge too – without spending a dime!
Good luck with your book efforts! I found that I needed to go through all my books twice. The first time through I was getting my feet wet, and remembering my entire collection by holding each book. Then I had a better sense of it, and when I went through again I knew more about what I wanted to keep.
This topic has been on my mind lately, as I’m finishing grad school in May and moving out of my apartment during the summer. Like you, I’m in a one bedroom apartment and constantly find myself wondering how I’ve accumulated so much stuff since undergrad. Do I really need a tub under the bed devoted to gift wrap supplies? Or another bin dedicated to shirts that remind me of particular events, but that I’ll never wear because they’re ill-fitting over-sized men’s cotton t-shirts? This helped me get ideas of where to start with the purge and reminded me that it’s okay to part with some of these things that no longer serve a purpose. I think I’ll start with the ‘old notebooks’ and then ‘miscellaneous t-shirts’ categories first. This was a helpful post that gave me ideas of how to tackle this daunting task. Thank you!
Oy, gift wrapping supplies! I had to majorly scale down my gift wrapping supplies too – I kept the stuff I loved and got rid of a lot of the older stuff I never used. I found that I always wanted to use the new, cute stuff that matches my current taste, so it made it easier to get rid of some of the old stuff.
I’m so glad you found this post helpful! It sounds like we have a lot of the same types of things that are hard to get rid of. I had SO many t-shirts that reminded me of great events or groups but that I never ever wear. The photos really helped with those – I snapped a picture and put it in my flickr album. A lot of the shirts were from marching band in High School – some of my favorite memories. I had to remind myself that getting rid of the shirts didn’t mean I was getting rid of those great memories… and having the shirts doesn’t help me remember them any better.
For the notebooks – I tossed so many. Just let them go and accepted I’d never need or look at them again, nor miss them. There were a very small amount that I was concerned about parting with – ones where I logged the books and movies and shows I read or watched or went to each year. They only had about 15-20 pages filled in each, so I used Evernote’s Scannable app to very quickly scan them into a single PDF file. That made me feel better about tossing the notebooks.
Good luck with your own purging and moving, and major congrats on being so close to the finish line for Grad School!
I have not seen this book around like everyone else (because I am living in my very own world of work, toddler, repeat) but after reading Trish’s review and yours, I’m in. I just decluttered my dresser yesterday a bit because having all that STUFF on it all the time was driving me insane. Bathrooms are up next. I just emailed Ben and told him we are reading this book and decluttering the whole house. I just don’t know when we’ll find the time exactly…
And the books…I don’t know about the books. We got rid of a bunch when we moved three years ago and have barely accumulated any since then. I love being surrounded by them even now when I am barely reading anything.
Good luck with your quest! It feels so good to get rid of things I realized didn’t bring me joy.
Clothes was a HUGE area for me – I had way too many clothes. It was always easy for me to get rid of things that I didn’t like anymore, but I realized I had so much that I needed to get rid of many of the “Ok” items – I kept them around because they looked ok, but in reality I never wore them because the things that looked “good” instead of “ok” always got worn first. I still need to do another round of clothing purging, but the first round made a big difference.
Another thing that helped me was taking photos of things I was sentimental about, but not sentimental enough to keep. I made a private flickr album and put photos of tshirts that reminded me of fun events and good memories. Marie Kondo points out in her book that “getting rid of an object doesn’t get rid of the memory” – which really helped me while I was decluttering. She doesn’t advocate the photo taking part – I learned that from Gretchen Rubin, but I found that it helped me make the final leap to decide to toss things.
As far as books – if they aren’t bursting from your shelves and in piles around the house, I wouldn’t worry about them now. I had no place to put new books, and a few stacks laying around that didn’t fit on my (many) shelves. I just went through my collection and got rid of (mostly unread) books that I had lost interest in. The books in my apt were from about 9 years of buying books in NYC, and many of the ones bought years ago didn’t reflect my current reading tastes and priorities. It was surprising easy to get rid of 250 books, while still keeping books I’ve read and enjoyed, and lots of unread books that I’m still interested in reading. But I still have over 1300 books – and they bring me joy. I think Marie Kondo is not a true book lover – I would never hide my books in a shoe cupboard! Being surrounded by them makes me happy.